Of Sleepless nights and Heartsore Thoughts
by missshyness
Summary: Hermione, Draco, Ron and Astoria all have trouble sleeping. Forbidden longings and collateral damage. AU Two-shot
1. The Longing

It was one of those nights. The rain poured outside of their homely cottage, wind blew from side to side making tree branches occasionally brush against the closed windowpanes. It was the perfect night to curl up in a bed and just sleep. If only it were so easy.

Hermione Granger lay in bed… no. Hermione Weasley lay in bed attempting to sleep. It is correct. She had fulfilled the whole Wizarding World expectations and married her fellow war hero and Hogwarts sweetheart, Ronald Weasley.

They had exchanged vows barely three months ago. It had been a small ceremony involving only family and friends. Obviously her friends _were _her family now that the war was over, and she had failed to restore her parents' memory. She still felt a void during her whole wedding ceremony just thinking that they weren't there. She had received comforting and heartwarming looks and touches from her now husband and their best man.

Harry Potter. The boy-who-lived, knew how she felt. Her parents, although alive, had no memory of her existence whatsoever. Their losses were similar. Then again, everyone had lost at least someone in the war.

Of course the media found a way to sneak into their ceremony long enough to get a few pictures of the newlyweds for the Daily Prophet. They had stayed long enough to get a rise out of Harry too. Harry Potter being the epicenter of the war was sick of the media. He could not stand it. Several law-suits had caused the Daily Prophet to cease their obnoxious articles only temporarily. Harry would have to give in eventually. In the meantime, he would kick them out with more than threats from his best friends' wedding.

Hermione chuckled at the memory of Harry's red face as he pointed his wand warningly to the more than frightened photographer, who dissaparated in a moment's notice. She became aware that she had made a noise loud enough to disturb her sleeping husband and looked up to see if she had.

He remained asleep and she let out a sigh letting her mind wonder once again. Her head rested in the piece of skin between Ron's shoulder and his chest; while her hand lay carefully on top of his inflating and deflating stomach. A strong arm wrapped her shoulders keeping her close to him.

She always let her mind wonder at this time of night. It was the only time when she could truly set herself free. She glanced once more at the sleeping figure beside her and felt nothing but painfully guilty. It wasn't like she didn't love Ron. She did, very much in fact. His heart was so big and she felt welcome in it. He never failed to make her smile, and he always had something nice to say to her. His embrace was something beyond words. The way his strong arms seemed to go on forever around her always comforted her. She was happy.

Well, no. To say she was happy was definitely an overstatement, but to say she was satisfied was an understatement. She was somewhere in between. CONTENT! She was content.

She couldn't put a finger on what was wrong with her relationship with Ron. He loved her, she loved him. She should be ecstatic instead of just happy, let alone content. What was she missing?

It was only at night that she would ponder over this. It was only at night that she would allow herself to close her eyes and picture even if just for a second, his gray eyes and bright blonde hair. She immediately scolded at herself for always letting her train of thought end with him. What was it about Draco Malfoy that had her breathing heavily just with a fraction of a thought about him?

Of course she knew she was lying to herself by saying it was a fraction of a thought. She thought about him a lot. Only at night, though. It was only when her husband had long ago drifted away to sleep and their empty cottage was drowned in silence, that she began to think about him. During the day she was immersed in her marriage. She laughed and kissed her husband dearly. She was affectionate and caring, but it was all a mask. It was only at night that she could remove that mask and truly let herself free.

She knew it was wrong, of course. That was where all the guilt came from after all. Her hands trembled when she thought of it, and her throat closed up making it hard to breathe, and thus the heavy breathing. Ron was everything a husband was supposed to be and she felt horrible for thinking it was not enough. What was he missing?

It was a question which she had often asked herself without successfully answering.

On this particular night, Hermione thought about Draco in a way that she hadn't allowed herself to do so before. She remembered. The first time she looked at him and realized she had feelings for the boy; the first time he had uttered her name, their first kiss…

Ron removed his hand from where he had it curled around her shoulders as he stirred in his sleep, making Hermione snap out of her Malfoy-filled thoughts. Hermione would have believed he could hear her thoughts had she not known he was not a good legilimens. So she rolled around in bed facing the ceiling and watching as Ron gave his back to her.

She sighed and rolled to her side, giving her back to him as well, a single salt-water drop touring down her cheek. Her thoughts of longing for Draco Malfoy kept her awake for as long as she had married. She felt weak for not being able to keep him away from her mind. Everything at night revolved around him. She could even smell his scent some nights, feel his touch, see his eyes, taste his breath... What could she do? He owned her thoughts.

She let herself smile before her heart broke. The guilt ate her up mercilessly, clawing at her insides and ringing in her ears. But before that, her mind was briefly at peace, letting her fantasize on what could've been, and embracing the full swing of her longing. So she gave herself the task of enjoying her brief blissful remembrances before the cold unforgiving guilt hit her.

She let herself drift off to sleep thinking of him. Her dream that night was a reflection of her thoughts. A memory…

_It was finally over. Her last day at Hogwarts was a bittersweet experience. She was graduating and even though Harry and Ron weren't with her (after the War, they had been accepted in Auror training), she had had a more than satisfactory senior year. And it was all because of him. _

_Draco Malfoy of all people had made her last year at Hogwarts one of the best years of her life. They had of course, started wanting to rip each other's head off, but with time they found they had much more in common than they expected. After several heated discussions ending in passionate kisses they had given in. He showed her he was over his prejudices. And she showed him she was able to let go and have fun every once in a while. They never ceased to fight, and sometimes they remained without speaking to each other for days. They had never publicly acknowledged the state of their relationship, because there was no relationship in the first place. Hermione was not with Ron at the moment but everyone could see it building up. And Draco, well, he was known for being a ladies' man. So they had never even uttered anything close to commitment; not to each other, or anyone else. Nobody even knew about them. Nobody would ever know._

_Whatever it was, they were both aware that it would be over once they graduated. That was the reason that Hermione was grieving out on the balcony, wearing her grey tulip dress on her graduation night instead of inside, having fun at the party. She had feelings for him and she cursed herself for being so stupid in allowing so. _

_He found her there. He wore all black as usual and he made his way to her silently, making her gasp in surprise when he first spoke._

"_Aren't you glad?" he said. An amused smirk twisted in his face as he saw her jump._

"_Glad? What about?" she tried to say nonchalantly but failed miserably. He chuckled and her heart skipped a beat or two. _

"_Graduation, Granger! Of course, leave it to you to be sad about ending school." He put his hand inside his pocket and looked at the ground. His registered smirk never left his features._

"_Hey!" she said bumping her fist to his shoulder playfully. "Just so you know I _am _in fact glad it's over" she continued with just a bit of spite in her tone. He caught up instantly._

"_Don't lie to yourself Granger." They both turned to face each other feeling the tension build up with her poorly disguised comment. "You're addicted to it; you won't know what to do with yourself once it's over," his expression was now somewhat tense. She knew they were not talking about school anymore._

"_Just so you know, I have many of plans regarding my time post-graduation." She could feel her cheeks burning and her palms sweating as they curled into fists on each side of her body. Her heart thumped violently against her chest._

"_I'd ask you to share if I had any intention on listening," he said, smirk back in place. She sighed and turned to walk back inside but felt him grab her elbow and spin her right back around._

"_What?!" she said. _

_He caught her eyes in his, sending shivers down her spine. His look was almost desperate, somewhat pleading, but she couldn't quite figure it out. Then he let out a sigh and she knew._

_She knew what his eyes were saying: 'it would've never worked out,' 'it will be easier to hate each other,' and 'this is probably goodbye.' She gave him a knowing look. She could feel the tears starting to build up behind her eyes but she fought them and just kept on staring into his piercing eyes. She had to fight even harder to restrain herself from kissing him senseless right there. She knew she loved him then. And she knew she always would. _

Right then it dawned on Hermione, what was missing with her husband; because the look she and Draco had shared that night, alone, held more passion than her entire relationship with Ron. There was nothing wrong with Ronald Weasley. Nothing, except for the fact that he was not Draco Malfoy.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x

Draco Malfoy sat up on his bed after waking up abruptly. His blonde hair was sticking to his sweaty forehead; his chest was pounding with the furious and rapid beating of his heart; his breath was quick and erratic and his hands were balled up in fists. His eyes scanned the room rapidly until they fell upon the naked body beside him. He groaned.

Astoria's blonde hair was spread underneath her sleeping head. She seemed undisturbed by his sudden wakefulness. That relieved him. He did not need her asking what was wrong without him knowing how to answer that.

_Everything. _Everything was wrong.

He stood up and picked up his boxers from the floor, putting them on. He shot one last glance at her sleeping fiancée before heading to the library. The Malfoy Manor had been restored and he had inherited it later on, after his parents' death. He tried not to think about them, which was nearly impossible as he currently inhabited the place where all his memories of them had occurred.

He was planning to sell it, but the only pleasant memories from his childhood, all involving his mother and _not _Lucius, kept him from doing it. Instead he was looking for a more modest place to live with his soon to be wife. Meanwhile, though, he rather enjoyed spending most of his time abusing the Manor's library.

He must have read every book at least once, his favorites were so worn out that he considered buying new copies; but there was something about a worn out book that soothed him. There was something about reading and spending time in this place that gave him peace of mind, made the painful pulling at his chest, cease. Did he dare to admit to himself what it was? NO, of course not.

He was what the dictionary may define as a pathological liar. He lied to himself mostly, however, in order to keep the lies he told to himself believable, he felt obliged to lie to those around him. Which basically were just Astoria, Blaise and Theo. Fortunately for him, keeping his emotions deep inside of him was a very registered Malfoy trait he had generously inherited.

He prided himself on the fact that he could be having his heart shrinking inside his chest without even so much as a twitch of his face to give him away. He had mastered the art of concealment and had started to believe he was okay himself. That was until nights like these came.

These dreams he had, not so often, made him remember everything he was miserable for. And he often found himself sweating in the middle of the night, trying to forget his previous mishap. Yes, a mishap. That was what it was, an unlucky accident he had allowed to happen by letting his guard down and thinking about her before he fell asleep; even if just for a second.

He tried to remember what it was that triggered it on this night. He remembered having a conversation with Astoria about their engagement. That was it. That had done it for him. He recalled the events building up to his proposal and cringed. He allowed himself to react only in the library, at night, while being alone.

_Argentum had just delivered the Daily Prophet in his hands at the breakfast table. He pet his eagle owl and gave him a treat before it flew away. _

"_Why do you let it stand on the table like that?! It's gross, I'm having my breakfast," Astoria had complained. He waved a dismissal hand at her before turning to his newspaper. _

_He froze._

_**WAR HEROES' VOWS EXCHANGED IN NUPTIALS LAST NIGHT.**_

_Below the front page headline was a picture of her. There stood Hermione Granger, wearing a breathtaking white dress, tangled in the Weasel's arms. She smiled awkwardly obviously uncomfortable with her picture being taken. The Weasel pecked her cheek happily and gave an excited 'thumbs-up' to the photographer. As much as he hated the guy, he could not blame him for being so ecstatically happy._

_He read through the article carefully, getting each detail of their ceremony and reception, catching a photograph of a not-too-pleased Potter. _

_Astoria glanced at the paper and snickered. "Finally! It took them long enough right sweetie?" He smirked in return lowering his eyes to the photograph once more before turning the page, her face burned to his skull._

_He had slipped a small, square, black velvet box across the breakfast table two days later. _

He sat, legs sprawled before the sofa in the library, head hanging and staring at the ceiling. He told himself he needed to get it out of his system before dawn. He needed to get _her _out of his system. So he gave himself the task of thinking about her as much as he could until there was nothing left to think about. He would never admit it to anyone but himself, but seeing that article had broken him. He had spent days mourning her. She wasn't dead and he was both aware and thankful for that, but the sharp pain and strong pang in his chest told him otherwise. That day, he had found comfort for the first time in his family's library.

He loved her.

It was not a mere infatuation caused by spending time with her. No. it was much stronger than that because it had remained long after they had said their last goodbye. He had pleaded her to stay with him. He hadn't actually worded it but his eyes had told her he was willing to give his pride up for her. His family traditions, even. She was the only one who managed to get an expression of emotion on his face.

Her eyes apologetic in return had turned him down. He wanted nothing more than kiss her, and take her with him the next day. Hell, he would've married her right then! But he knew better. He knew that it hadn't meant the same for her. She didn't feel the way he did.

She would never know. He would never tell her. She failed to understand that she had carved her name in his heart leaving no room for anything or anyone else. She had been his ruin. His despair had been complete the moment he laid eyes on that bloody article!

He had been an idiot! He had let her in and she had taken permanent residence inside his mind. She made his head twirl with frustration, intrigue and fascination. His mind had never been more boggled. Whatever was about her that was making him slowly, torturingly, and mercilessly lose his head. Was it her vanilla and coconut smell? Was it her tender and soft skin? Was it those big, round, chocolate, brown eyes that seemed to look right through him? Was it the way her lips parted slightly when she thought too hard? Was it the way her brow furrowed when she disapproved of something he was doing?

It was all of it. All of it and more.

How did he end up here? How was it that he now adored what he had hated before? He ended up gripping fistfuls of hair and pulling just hoping to feel something else; something different than this agonizing and paralyzing pain that ate every inch of his sane being, a different kind of pain. Physical pain was easy to endure compared to this madness.

He remembered then when it all started.

_Heading back to the Head's common room after patrol, Draco was feeling particularly annoyed. He had found a couple of fifth year Ravenclaws making out in the Potions classroom. Of course they would choose the dungeons to hide their indecencies. Fifty points taken from their house would have to do. _

_As he slid inside the common room he found it dimly lit by the fireplace. It was late and he wondered what Granger could possibly be doing outside of her bedroom. He was not at all surprised when he found her curled up by the fireplace with a book lying beside her head. She was asleep. _

"_What a loser…" he muttered under his breath. He thought about carrying her to her bedroom, but he was NOT her friend. Why would he do that? Instead he grabbed a cushion from the sofa and threw it to her head. _

_She shot up immediately sending the cushion straight to the fireplace causing it to ignite in flames. Her expression was priceless and he smirked to himself. Her head turned in every direction making her bushy hair bounce in its place. Draco could've sworn it had a life of itself._

_Her eyes finally focused on him. Her eyes went from confused to burning angry in less than a second. _

"_What the hell Malfoy?!" she voiced a little louder than he expected. He did not falter though. _

"_Well, I thought I was doing you a favor unless of course you like sleeping on the floor and waking up covered in ashes from the dying embers, you ungrateful witch!" His eyebrows shot up as he looked at her incredulous. _

"_Of course you had to do it in the least appropriate manner, didn't you?" her cheeks were pink now, obviously realizing he was right. She stood up and walked straight to him. She looked at him from head to toe, and back to meet his stare. "What did I expect really? You have no knowledge whatsoever of the word politeness."_

"_Politeness? What about you huh? I don't recall you thanking me for waking you up!" She was merely inches from him now and the flickering light from the flames made her lips look quite red. He shook his head and directed his gaze towards hers before she could notice his sudden hormone-induced faux pas. _

"_THANK YOU? YOU ACTUALLY WANT ME TO THANK YOU?" she was screaming now. _

"_Well you're so big on the whole politeness thing, that it seems like the right thing to do!" _

_That's when he saw it. For just a second her eyes drifted towards his lips, and he caught her. She seemed as distraught as he had felt when he did the same thing just a while ago. But it was gone as soon as it had come, mimicking his actions. She straightened her back then and crossed her arms in front of her chest. _

_He took a step forward and leaned in so that their noses were almost touching. He never broke eye contact. He had intended to make a smart remark regarding her sudden speechlessness but her proximity got him distracted. _

_It must've been the lighting of the place, or the fact that it was so late. He must have been so tired that his judgment was not clear; but the next thing he knew he was closing up the distance between them. His hands somehow found the line of her jaw, his thumbs rubbing her blazing hot cheeks as his lips massaged her own hungrily. _

_She stood still for a moment before he felt her give in. Her hands grabbed the collar of his shirt as she pulled him even closer. By the time both of them had come to their senses they were panting heavily staring into each other's eyes. _

_Draco recognized realization in Hermione's eyes as he found it himself. Without uttering another word he walked to his bedroom and slammed the door shut. _

_That was the first of many arguments to end in similar ways. Eventually they had come to an agreement and no longer needed to fight to start up a snogging session. That didn't keep them from fighting, though._

Draco looked out the window to the pale orange light filtering through the curtains. He sighed deeply thinking of her once more before he made his way back to his bedroom, so the woman he was going to marry wouldn't drown him with questions he would refuse to answer. With that, he held up the wall around him once more, placing the familiar, emotionless mask on his face until the next slip of his mind towards _her._


	2. Collateral Damage

**Finished! I really like the overall plot of my story but i could be wrong! Review please!**

Collateral Damage

Ron Weasley stirred in his sleep. The sudden action though, kept him from remaining asleep. He felt his wife shift and move away from him as he lied on his side. He remained silent for he did not wish to wake her. He knew better of course. He knew that she was awake and he knew why there was a slight trace of moisture on his skin on the spot where Hermione had been lying.

Hermione was never as good a liar as she thought she was and Ron, knowing her like he did, saw right through her. And it broke his heart.

Every night he fell asleep. Every night he would silently wake up to hear his wife crying as quietly as she could manage. Had he not know the reason for her sorrow he would have shaken her demanding her to tell him what was wrong and how he could help fix it. Unfortunately he did know the truth behind her disconsolateness. He knew and it tore him to pieces. It killed him that he could not make his wife as happy as she made him. He loathed himself even for staying with her knowing what he did. But he could not leave her side. He loved her too much. Leaving her would be the death of him.

When he imagined life without her, suddenly to have the love of his life be in love with some other guy didn't seem such a horrible reality to endure. Not just some other guy, but _him. _The guy he had hated since he first saw him. The guy that thought he was inferior. Hell! The guy that at some point in his life had thought _her _to be inferior! It was ridiculous! Surely she must know that she was being unreasonable. Surely she would overcome her stupid crush!

Of course he knew that that wasn't the way Malfoy felt anymore. It was crystal clear counting the fact that he was too, in love with his wife. Ron couldn't blame him. He was actually surprised that not every man he knew loved his Hermione. What was there not to love? She was sweet and kind and feisty and bright and soft and sexy and beautiful. More importantly she had a heart that could hold the entire population of wizards in it. So he couldn't blame Draco Malfoy for falling for the girl of every man's dream. He _could _however hate him for it. And that he did.

He hated him for wooing her into falling for him.

Ron was sure that Hermione must have loved him at some point. All the signs were there. But somewhere along the way, the signs stopped coming and he was left with the remaining gestures. Sure she still smiled and kissed him like there was no tomorrow, but he couldn't feel her heart in it. Something was up and he wanted an answer desperately.

He did not get one until after they'd been married.

_It had been at his engagement party of all places. They had been invited as a courtesy of course, them being war heroes and Astoria being as much a socialite as it got, and all. He did not want to go of course but Hermione insisted and had RSVP'd before he could argue any further. He complained for days. In fact he did not stop even when they had entered Malfoy Manor. The place was packed with mostly pureblooded families or famous wizards and Quidditch players (which he enjoyed talking to, of course). He was relieved to see his best friend and his sister among the crowd. He immediately rushed toward them ignoring that his wife had just chose to wave at them and turned the opposite direction. _

_He talked to Harry, Ginny and Neville for a long time; almost only making fun of everything and everyone in the party. Harry and Neville, who had become civil towards Malfoy only half-heartedly glared at him before they burst into chuckles. He knew Hermione would have done the same had she been there. And that was when it hit him. Where was his wife?_

_He excused himself hurriedly and tried to find her. The crowd was huge and he could barely distinguish anyone, let alone his petite wife. He stepped out to the corridor thinking about looking for her. "Maybe she's gone to the loo," he thought. _

_How was he to find the loo in such a monumental house was beyond his knowledge. But he did it anyway. He pried open various doors to which none led to a bathroom. He proceeded down the corridor. He insisted on finding his wife before he returned to that joke of a party._

_That was when he heard her voice. She was just around the corner, he could tell. And he was about to call to her when he heard another voice. A male voice. _His _voice. He came closer and their voices became clearer. They seemed to be upset._

"… _Well what did you want me to say then?" she asked impatiently. She was nervous and Ron could tell._

_Apparently so could Malfoy. "I DON'T KNOW GRANGER! But I rather doubt that congratulating me was an option!"_

"_It's the polite thing to do okay? I can see that you are yet not familiar with this concept?" she responded. Ron did not know what was going on but this argument was much too heated for him to interrupt. He needed to know what lied beneath it._

"_POLITE?! You think I don't know what polite means?! Damn it Granger, I know all there is to know about politeness. I can recite all the principles to proper etiquette in alphabetical order, by heart if you want to hear it! But it's not about that is it? I doubt _politeness _applies to our history in these very circumstances!" Ron was more intrigued than ever, given that he managed to shut Hermione up. It wasn't just anything that kept his wife from winning an argument, but she seemed to be speechless._

_She spoke finally._

"_I-I-… I don't know what you- you're talking about" she stammered all the way through that sentence and Ron knew she was lying._

"_Don't kid yourself Granger, we both know what we're dealing with here. Surely you must know that I agreed on inviting you because I never thought you would actually come! It's too much for me! I'm a fool to think it'd be too much for you too."_

"_Draco, I just wanted to see you one last time before you… you… "_

"_Before I vow to spend the rest of my life with someone I don't love? Someone that doesn't understand me? Someone that's not you?! Can you honestly tell me that that doesn't feel like a punch to the stomach? Can you tell me that you couldn't care less?"_

_Her voice was broken when she answered and Ron knew she had to be crying. "You know I can't do that Draco… you know I can't." They were silent for a moment, all of them. Ron was a bright red color and he was clutching his stomach like someone had just kicked him in the nuts. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. It was as if air had been sucked out of his lungs, he couldn't breathe. And then Malfoy spoke again._

"_I don't know how you did it" and he said it with such venom in his voice that Ron thought he would die from poisoning just hearing him say it._

_Hermione broke down in sobs and Ron could just imagine her burying her pretty face in her hands. She managed to compose herself before speaking again._

"_You know perfectly well, we couldn't have been. I hadn't seen you in YEARS DRACO! And you were dating her… and…" but he wasn't listening to her, instead he was walking away. Ron could hear his footsteps fading. _

_He couldn't face her right now. He was a mess. So he stormed out of the Manor with his fists curled, got out his wand and apparated to their cottage._

_When Hermione asked him the next day he simply lied and told her that he had had a little too much to drink and he wasn't feeling okay. She seemed to buy it._

_They received the invitation to their wedding a couple of days later. Hermione did not say a word about it and she didn't force Ron to go. She didn't go either._

Ever since that night he had wondered why. Sure, Malfoy was filthy rich and he could've given Hermione the best treats in the world. But his Hermione wasn't interested in wealth. Not at all. It couldn't be his looks. To Ron he seemed so… so… _delicate. _Butof course every witch in Britain had at least once confessed that they thought he was attractive; even his sister, but not Hermione, never her. Ron found it to be exhausting, both physically and emotionally to ponder over it.

Every night he told himself that she would get over it, unsure if he believed it himself. If she didn't he would confront her. She would cry and tell him to forgive her. He would of course, because he loved her that much. But for now, he had to enjoy the time he spent with her. Because he loved her. Because he needed her. And because he would hate to see her alone now that that bastard was going to marry to the Greengrass girl, he would not confront her. Not yet anyways.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Astoria felt the cold empty space beside her. It startled her to wakefulness. She raised her torso supporting herself by the elbows and she looked at the crumpled sheet in the other side of the bed. She sighed. "Unbelievable" she muttered to herself.

She thought he had finally given up on this stupid and inconsiderate habit of his. Apparently she had been wrong. She groaned and let her face drown in the pillow before her. She told herself she would not tolerate this from any man. She was a proud Greengrass after all. But he made her words empty. She really had fallen for him and she cursed herself for it. She cursed her dad for setting her up with him, she cursed her sister for encouraging her and she cursed him for not feeling the same way. But most of all, she cursed the witch that did not let Draco Malfoy fall for her; she cursed Hermione Granger.

Draco could try to hide it all he could but Astoria was not as stupid as everyone thought she was. She was very smart actually; she just figured life would be easier if she played dumb. And oh would life be easier if she was ignorant of this. She kind of wished she had never found out. She would be perfectly happy being in the dark from this secret. But it was more than blatantly obvious.

She had been in denial for a long time. Ever since the first sign that he was in love with that plain, bushy-haired witch. It had been in their engagement party. Astoria was surprised she hadn't yet fallen apart.

_Draco re-entered the room where the party was being held, looking very flustered. She hurried towards him to ask him what was wrong but he hadn't spotted her yet. He stopped and turned and then stopped again. He seemed uncertain about something. He took a deep breath and Astoria watched him from a distance wondering what he was doing. He suddenly looked up only to freeze as a red-eyed muggleborn had just entered the room. She, too, froze. They stood like that for a minute facing each other not paying attention to what was going on around them. The party was at too much a stupor to notice their odd behavior. Astoria on the other hand watched their exchange with careful attention._

_It was the look on his eyes that gave him away. He was looking at Hermione with longing and regret and there was something else, whatever it was, he had not once looked at Astoria that way. Just as Astoria was about to walk up to them and interrupt whatever was going on, they seemed to come to their senses and walked in opposite directions. _

Astoria felt like such a fool because before that, she had truly, genuinely believed that Draco was somewhat in love with her. Of course she knew he wasn't all the way there yet, but she thought she could earn his love, make him want her, make him need her.

She was still in denial, telling herself that she had imagined the whole thing. But her hope shattered to pieces once all her fears were confirmed merely four days ago.

_Draco had gotten ill, which was a very rare thing for a Malfoy to do. But apparently the flu didn't know last names. _

_Of course, he had refused to go to St. Mungo's or undergo any sort of treatment they had to offer. But Astoria was a very persuasive girl and she managed to convince him to at least let her ask his godfather for a healing potion. Draco was unsure about it at first, for he thought that receiving treatment for an illness (which he assured her that he did not have) was a sign of weakness. In the end though, she won. Astoria really prided herself for her persuasion skills. _

_Snape gave her specific instructions of the use of the potion. She paid attention because she had always wanted to pamper her fiancée. And his illness just gave her the perfect excuse. Draco Malfoy did not like to be pampered. _

_She gleefully gave him the potion telling him he would be feeling drowsy and sleepy and just a bit delusional when he took it that night, but as soon as he would wake up, he would be as good as new. He groaned and seemed more irritated than she had expected but he gave in. she couldn't be more pleased. _

_She set up the bed for him and brought him soup the house elves had so generously prepared for him. He did not let her feed it to him and even though she was disappointed she humored him. _

_After he finished his soup she administered the correct and precise amount of healing potion Snape had instructed. The effects were almost immediate; he drowsily adjusted himself on the bed and fell asleep almost right away. Almost that is._

_Astoria thought he looked so peaceful and she found it so adorable that she couldn't help herself she leaned closed and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips._

"_I love you Draco, sleep tight," she smiled. But her smile faltered and she froze once she heard his response._

"_I love you too, Hermione." And that was that. He fell asleep before her eyes._

One stupid little sentence containing only four stupid words and it had managed to tear her world to pieces. Astoria tried to fight back the tears that were prickling behind her eyes but it was useless. She bit the pillow in annoyance and gave a muffled scream into it.

She hated him! Oh how she hated her too! How had they managed to fool her for so long?

She would never understand Draco. Astoria was known for her good looks. Many people including Witch Weekly had declared her to be one of the most beautiful witches of her time. She remembered the proud look he gave her when she was announced to be on the list. A list which did NOT include certain bushy haired muggleborn witch! How outrageous! Astoria could have any guy she wanted. Merlin knew she had received many offers during her time with Draco. She had rejected every single one of them.

Everyone would agree that the world would spin out of its axis the day Draco Malfoy turned her down to be with Hermione Granger. Everyone would've been wrong.

Astoria knew that if Granger wasn't married to the weasel (as he was often referred to by Draco) her fiancée would leave her in a heartbeat; or in this case, in a heartbreak. Draco Malfoy, the man who was supposed to make her happy the rest of her life, was instead making her life miserable. She couldn't marry him. Could she?

No! She has more dignity than that. Or did she? Draco was the only person in the world to make her flush her pride down the drain. But could she really spend the rest of her life with him knowing that he longed for someone else? More importantly, would she?

Her inner argument was interrupted by the almost silent click of the doorknob. He had returned. Astoria held her breath nervously as she felt him sneak back on his side of the bed. She started breathing again realizing that he would have noticed if she wasn't.

Her heart started to beat wildly and her eyes widened when she felt his surprisingly warm hand on the small of her bare back. She closed her eyes to feign sleep. He leaned closer and placed a kiss on the top of her head. He lingered there for a bit just touching his lips to her blonde curls. He then went back to his side and lied down.

Astoria opened her eyes once again. She pitied herself. She did so because she knew that he had won her over once again. The argument inside her head had settled and he had won. After that intimate gesture she knew she was going to marry him and spend the rest of her days trying to make him happy. She would try to make him forget that he didn't really love her and she would persuade him into loving her. She was very good at that after all. Her mind was set. She would make Draco Malfoy fall in love with her.

She did not stop to think what would happen if it didn't work because there was no room for failure in her mission. If she were to fail, she was sure she would break. But she did not think about it. She focused on the way she would woo him.

If her fifteen year-old self had known what she was planning she would be disappointed. "Never beg for a man's attention" had been her motto growing up. But now she was eating the words right up.

"Of course it had to be tragic" she thought. Every epic love story was, and she was certain that in the end she would manage her happily ever after with the man of her dreams. She would do it even knowing that she wasn't the girl in his.


End file.
